Connie Knapp's Blog

And now it's Christmas

2011-12-23T14:10:00.001-05:00

First I thought it couldn't be September, now I think it can't possibly be Christmas - but the day after tomorrow really is Christmas.

It's been quite a fall-in September on a writer's retreat in Cambridge, Massachusetts with DiLoPi - Patti Digh, Jennifer Louden, and Susan Piver, "Walking Into Fire" and in October (the weekend of the Halloween snowstorm) on retreat wiith Pema Chodron and Meg Wheatley at Omega.

Me with Patti Digh

All of this retreating has been great for my meditation practice-I bought the MP3's of the Pema Chodron retreat (Living Beautifully with Uncertainty and Change) and I heard Meg say that the purpose of meditation is to notice that you are thinking-I love that. My brain is a little thought factory-it just keeps right on thinking. Susan Piver and the Open Heart Project has helped me to direct all that thought to my breath-not easy but it does bring me a modicum of peace.

So what do I wish for in 2012? World peace, the end of poverty, the end of AIDS and of all disease and oppression. What, that can't happen in 2012? Not even one of those things?

Well my second choice is that I become one who doesn't add to the fear and aggression in the world. That I claim my "spiritual warriorship" as Pema puts it and become one who truly leaves this world a better place than she found it.

My dear Aunt Mary kept St Francis of Assissi's prayer on her bulletin board at work-Lord, make me an instrument of thy peace. And on those days when I want to scream, when it feels as though everything has gone wrong, from simple things like spilling tea all over me and the car, or being tailgated on Route 9 by someone who clearly thinks that the speed limit is a guideline and doesn't apply to him (or her), to bigger things like not making goals I've set, or watching friends suffering with illness, or loss, I must remember that I can choose not to give up.

And that's my intention for 2012-not to give up. To figure out how to take what I've learned and use it to serve others.

Wait-it can't be September!

2011-09-07T11:04:00.002-04:00

I have absolutely no idea where the summer went, that's for sure.

I worked, we went to Asheville, NC, I worked some more, we went to P'town and hurried back to avoid Irene, and I worked some more.

Oh, I see, I worked all summer, that's where it went!

How I miss the 16 weeks of vacation that I got as a faculty member! I used those vacations well, learning new things, writing morning pages, getting to the gym, doing yoga. Now I hardly ever write morning pages, I don't get to the gym as often as I would like, and sometimes I'm not sure that I'm learning anything, on this ever turning treadmill that being a dean is.

But I am doing yoga, thanks to Peggy Cappy's workshop at Kripalu this past spring. Ten sun salutations every single morning, even if it means getting up at 5:45 AM as it did this morning.

And now it's the first day of class, and the race is on!

Good luck to all of us, students, teachers, parents, all of us.

15 minutes to live? Trust 30 Challenge

2011-05-31T10:06:00.007-04:00

I’m participating in the Trust 30 Challenge in honor of Ralph Waldo Emerson’s 208^th birthday-you can learn more here.

Here’s today’s prompt and my response:

We are afraid of truth, afraid of fortune, afraid of death, and afraid of each other. Our age yields no great and perfect persons. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

You just discovered you have fifteen minutes to live.

1. Set a timer for fifteen minutes.
2. Write the story that has to be written.

I just learned that I have fifteen minutes to live-fifteen minutes! What’s my story? First I tell Anne how much I love her and how my life has been enriched just by being around her, and how lucky I am that she has chosen to spend the last almost 28 years with me-that I am a totally different person because of her, more creative, looser and more "myself” than I ever would have been without her.

Then I call my father and thank him for all the gifts he has given me; my persistence (some might call it stubbornness), my ability to take whatever life hands me, get knocked down, and get up and start all over again (I need to remember this tomorrow when I go back to work and get knocked down again), and my brains-I’m sure that my “smarts” comes from him. He’s the one who taught me to do what I think is right, whatever the consequences.

Then I speak to my 14 years dead mom, and tell her how I didn’t appreciate her enough when she was alive, how I have much more empathy for her life and her situation, and that the older I get the more like her I believe I am becoming, in a good way (although I wish that I could hand off the worry, the fretting, and the fear of being disappointed).

I speak to my two years dead aunt, and tell her how much she meant to me, how much like a second mother she was and how much of a role model she was to me.

Then I grab Anne, we go to King Kone, have the biggest messiest ice cream sundae, fudge, nuts and cherries, even if they have red dye #2, and I ask her to make sure to tell all my friends how much I love them, how much each of them has meant to me, and I want all of the students I’ve taught over the last almost 30 years to know how each of them as touched me as I hope I’ve touched them.

I have 10 minutes left to enjoy the ice cream, to study Anne’s face, to remember this moment forever (of course my forever is about to come to an end) and I try to think about what Anne needs to know before I leave her-practical things like the passwords to all my accounts, how to get in touch with my university, stuff that she will need to know in the next months. I tell her I want my funeral to be a party, to spend whatever it takes to make sure that everyone enjoys themselves, that everyone laughs, play a lot of The Boss, I tell her, and Roseanne Cash and Holly Near and Joan Baez.

I think about those who won’t necessarily be unhappy to know that I’m dead and I wish them well-I pray the Buddhist prayer, may I be happy, may I be healthy, may I be peaceful, may I live with ease, may they be happy, may they be healthy, may they be peaceful, may they live with ease.

And I reflect, finally, on my full life-full of love, and friends, and accomplishments beyond what I ever thought I could accomplish, experiences, trips, people, knowledge, meals, prayers, church services, rainy days, sunny days, days in India, China and Nicaragua, days in Brooklyn and Manhattan, days of sorrow and drunkenness and days of clarity and pure joy. All the days that make up my life, and I am grateful for every single one of them, even the lowest days, because without those days I wouldn’t have lived, and now I have lived, for 63 years, four months, and six days, a full and satisfying life. I have served and been served, loved and been loved, forgiven and been forgiven.

And while I would wish for 63 more years of this wonderful life, I always knew it would come to an end, and now it has, and I wouldn’t change one minute of this life, even the ones that at the time I wanted to change-I know that they were important and made me who I am, who I became, and they are all part of the wonder that is my life.

How lucky I am, how lucky I’ve been, and how lucky I continue to be, in knowing that I have these last fifteen minutes to tell the story that needs to be told, a life of love, joy, gratitude and wonder.

What more is there to say? And now my fifteen minutes are up, my bell chimes, and my story comes to an end. Thank you God.

Basic Technology Made Easier: Volume 1

2011-05-21T10:47:00.004-04:00

Just when I thought I knew "everything" David Pogue proves me wrong. My favorite trick from his Thursday column is the ability to create a web receipts file and a pdf from an on-line receipt --who knew? Certainly not me!

Popular Culture

2011-02-23T08:52:00.003-05:00

I've been on a bit of a movie jag lately. Saw "The Fighter" this past weekend, and "True Grit" the weekend before that.

Two excellent movies, and I'm listening to Arcade Fire's The Suburbs-aren't I hip?

----------------
Now playing: Arcade Fire - Modern Man
via FoxyTunes

I'm preparing for the Academy Awards, I even have my very own ballot! And unlike other years, I've seen 70% of the movies nominated for best movie. I don't think I can sit through Black Swan, no matter how good Natalie Portman is, just give her the Oscar and be done with it.

I didn't like Winter's Bone-too slow, too sad, too bleak for me.

And Toy Story 3 might be a Netflix Instant Play one of these nights.

Hey, I think I like Arcade Fire, and if I bought the mp3 from them, instead of Amazon, I'd saved $1.50! Oh well, it's only money.

See you at the movies!

Emily Dickinson's House

2011-02-12T21:16:00.008-05:00

We took a trip up to Amherst this December with Vicki and Kristine to visit Emily Dickinson's house, on the occasion of her birthday. Since we were celebrating her birthday, I thought it would be fitting to also visit her grave, so we did that, too.

Unfortunately this would be the last birthday celebration of this type at the house, since the anonymous benefactor has decided to reveal himself and stop handing out roses. Here's an article from December 19, 2010 from The Boston Globe:

For the love of Dickinson

A young man’s love of Emily Dickinson’s poetry blossomed into a tradition almost as mysterious as the woman herself. Now the anonymous donor of roses to celebrate the poet’s birthday has unmasked himself.
For the past 13 years, James Fraser, a retired physicist living in Acton, has bought roses to commemorate the poet’s birth on Dec. 10, 1830. During the open house at the Emily Dickinson Museum in Amherst held on the Saturday closest to her birthday, roses have been handed out — one for every year since her birth. On Dec. 11 the first 180 visitors received a rose.
In a recent phone interview, Fraser said that he wasn’t a particularly serious student as a teenager, but he was drawn to Dickinson’s work. “There was something about her poems that was a little different,” he said. Then he turned to physics, earning a PhD.
Decades later he acquired Cynthia Griffin Wolff’s biography of Dickinson, but it sat on his shelf for years before he opened it. “By reading the book, I got a much better understanding of how she [Dickinson] put words and ideas together. My interest just sort of snowballed from there,” he said. He visited the Dickinson house, joined the Emily Dickinson International Society, and initiated the annual gift. This month’s open house and gift of roses was the last of its kind. Times change and so should birthday celebrations, Fraser said. Next year’s observance is a mystery for now.

We had a beautiful day to be in Amherst, as you can see from this photo taken of the silhouettes of Emily Dickinson and Robert Frost. Emily never spent much time away from Amherst, and Frost taught at Amherst College for 16 years off and on between 1916 and 1938.

There's a lovely inscription next to the silhouette of Emily, a little hard to read here but basically telling her story-my favorite line from this inscription is this one: "Sitting here in Amherst, close to her home, she carries on a quiet, private poetic dialogue with her fellow poet [Frost] and the world."

And standing next to this silhouette/statue it almost felt that way.

I'd love to come back when the gardens are in bloom. Here's a link to a blog and some photos of the gardens when they are in bloom-you'll have to scroll down to see them.

Emily Dickinson's Garden

2010-06-01T09:45:00.006-04:00

Anne and I took a day off and went to The New York Botanical Gardens to see the Emily Dickinson's garden exhibit. It was fabulous-the videos on the web site show how the Enid A. Haupt Conservatory was transformed into this wonderful replica (albeit in minature) of what Dickinson's garden might have looked like.
I especially liked the way her poetry was connected to the flowers and plant life-look at this one.
I also loved the flowers: foxglove, snapdragon, marigolds, peas-look at these: the picture doesn't really do them justice. These are called "Schizanthus", poor-man's-orchid-this particular type is called Angel Wing's Mix-how's that for a name? According to Wikipedia, this plant is in the nightshade family. The foxglove were absolutely stunning-look at the photos below. And in addition to the poetry there were little "factoids" about the plants-things like when they were introduced to America, and what the plants meant in Victorian times. Foxglove was associated with insincerity.
Its name comes from the idea that it looks like a glove, and in Wales it was believed that fairies, or "folks," lurked in the flower, giving it the name "folk's glove." I love the idea of fairies "lurking" in the flower. The foxglove at this exhibit made me want to grow them in our garden. We tried (once) and they died, but we'll try again.
And then there were hydrangea-here's Anne taking a shot of the beautiful lace leaf hydrangea.
And a final shot of a butterfly on the big globe allium-we have these in our garden, too, only without the butterfly! We're going back this Friday and I can't wait!

A wonderful week in Virginia Beach

2010-04-23T14:22:00.001-04:00

Hard to believe that our wonderful week in Virginia Beach is coming to an end.
We've biked, hiked, taken a garden/house tour, rested on the beach and eaten at Waterman's four out of five dinners (or something like that).

Last night I dreamed that I was too tired to go back to work-wonder what that means!

Passover, then Easter

2010-04-01T07:37:00.001-04:00

What a wonderful time of the year-first we have Passover, two seders and lots of people over.

Six for the first night, eleven for the second night. Wednesday was "recovery day."

Tonight I'm off to First Presbyterian Church of Yorktown for a Tennebrae service for Holy Thursday. Tomorrow it's St Bart's Episcopalian Church for an ecumenical Good Friday service. Sunday a dawn Easter service at Wilken's farm, and then a 10:45 service at First Presbyterian.

Lots of good food, good prayers and good friends.

Happy holidays, everyone!

Snow then rain then falling trees

2010-03-15T08:00:00.002-04:00

It's been very interesting here in Northern Westchester-18 inches of snow, about 5 inches of rain, and then a huge crash in the middle of the night and two trees in the woods behind our house came down.
The house shook but luckily nothing was damaged.
I'm sure it's nature's way of keeping us on our toes.
And we have been so lucky-we've never lost power, just Cablevision and Internet access.
And now that we're back on daylight savings time it will soon be time to start working on the garden!

India Pictures

2010-02-16T11:47:00.010-05:00

So here's what I bought while we were in Mysore-And here's what Anne bought: doesn't she look great?

We absolutely loved the clothes, the food, the country and the people.

Now if only the flight weren't so long......

I have all the usual pictures, you know, the ones of the Taj Mahal, and the Hindu temples, and then I have the "business pictures." Those are the photos of the America On-Line graduation, which was the whole reason for going.

But I like these pictures, of Anne and me in our shalwar kameez in our beautiful hotel room in Mysore. These pictures don't tell the whole story, of shopping, trying on, having the clothes altered, and having chai and thali in Cafe Indra while we waited. And drinking lassi and then realizing that the yogurt was probably diluted with water and waiting to get sick-an not getting sick.

All in all it was an amazing trip.

India!

2010-01-11T01:54:00.001-05:00

Anne and I are back from a two week trip to India-Delhi, Agra, Bangalore and Mysore. I am reminded (as always) that I know so little and learn so much!

Pictures to follow but for now let me say that this was (another) life changing trip-add this to China and Nicaragua and all I can say is that I seem to be getting more adventurous as I get older.

Maybe that's one of the joys of getting older!

Rough Fall

2009-11-08T07:15:00.003-05:00

I've never worked so hard, so many hours, so far out of my "comfort zone," in my life. In many ways I'm grateful for the opportunity, but I wish this "opportunity" had come into my life when I was younger, with more energy, and an endless supply of optimism.

This has been a really rough couple of months. I am so looking forward to it all coming to a graceful "landing" so that I can move on to other things.

And other things includes a two week trip to India at the end of December!

Summer!

2009-06-29T09:08:00.001-04:00

Here I am on the penultimate day of June, 2009, musing about the end of my first year as Dean, and wondering what ever possessed me to give up my beautiful, wonderful, summers off!

St Patrick's Day

2009-03-16T22:00:00.006-04:00

When I was much younger (in college) I drank green beer on Saint Patrick's Day. On St. Pat's Day at P & G's in New Paltz in 1966 I met a man to whom I would later become engaged, and then break off the engagement three years later. Hard to believe that I'm remembering a day 43 years ago, telling stories about a man who is now dead.

On a brighter note, since I'm half Irish, I wish everyone a happy St. Pat's-cabbage but no corned beef for us vegetarians!

Oh My God I'm 61

2009-02-04T21:14:00.004-05:00

Yes, it's true my birthday was January 25th. For my 60th Anne and I had a 60-60 party-we held it in early January, sort of between our two birthdays (Anne's birthday is November 2).

But 61, now that's another whole story. Lunch at Crabtree's Kittle House in Chappaqua, dinner at the Ocean House in Croton - two of my favorite Westchester restaurants. Can you tell that I basically am eating my way through my - gulp - seventh decade!?!

Well, the end of my 61st year, the beginning of my 62nd, consider the alternative. I can't get "will you still need me, will you still feed me, when I'm 64" out of my mind. I never thought I'd be 64, and here I am 61. I never thought I'd die, I just thought I wouldn't get old-how's that for cognitive dissonance!

Happy birthday fellow Aquarians!

Reflections on MLK, Jr Day and Life in General

2009-01-19T11:11:00.004-05:00

How's that for a pretentious post title! But I am really enjoying being home, which is a rare event lately, and I'm getting so much out of Jennifer Louden's virtual retreat and tomorrow the new America begins.

Now if I could just take all of this with me and move into my "regular" life with the calm, confidence and contentment that I've received from four days on virtual retreat (even though Friday was more of a "crash" day).

And being somewhat snowed in is great-I don't feel like I have to do anything, go anywhere or even shower until our book group meeting tonight.

Snow Day!

2009-01-07T07:35:00.002-05:00

almost. An ice storm, with a delayed opening, which is almost as good.

When I was a lowly professor, I didn't go back until the week before school started. Now that I'm an exalted dean, I get to go back on January 5th. Lucky me.

And I never realized how well I used the time between the semesters. My offices (all four-home, New York, White Plains and Pleasantville) could use some attention, my checkbook hasn't been balanced in months, I'm behind on my reading, I'm only getting to the gym once a week-I could go on but it would sound like I'm complaining.

So here's an unusual New Year's resolution-find a work/life balance! I realize now that for me there is no such thing-I'm either working too much or I'm not working at all. And I like it that way. And that's what I really like about being a college professor-intense periods of work, intense periods of play.

Happy 2009 everyone! Enjoy the snow day!

Thanksgiving!

2008-11-28T20:05:00.005-05:00

We're in Vermont, at Smuggler's Notch Resort, having a fabulous Thanksgiving vacation. And it would have been more fabulous if my Uncle John hadn't died on Thanksgiving morning. We'll be driving home tomorrow anyway which is a good thing because the funeral is on Tuesday, with viewings on Sunday and Monday.

I loved my Uncle John. He was my mother's younger (and only!) brother. He's the one in the wheel chair in the picture I posted when Aunt Mary died. When he was younger they called him Brother to distinguish him from my grandfather, I guess, who was also John. [Note: I learned at Uncle John's funeral that he was actually John Henry Devine, Jr. ] He and Aunt Carol took us to the park once while they were dating-who would want to take their nieces on a date!

He came to my PhD graduation ceremony in 1995. That's 13 years ago-he was in better health, as was Ruth. The five of us went out for lunch afterwards. Jerry's gone now, and so is John.

I called too late to speak with him. I called to wish him a happy Thanksgiving and my cousin Rick told me that Uncle John had died about an hour before I called. Gini spoke with him on Wednesday and she said that he sounded bad. He was slurring his words-I guess the brain cancer had spread. He told Gini that he was dying but that we shouldn't feel sad-he had had a good life.

Sleep peacefully, Uncle John. At last you are pain free.

Thanksgiving! Already?

2008-11-23T06:31:00.002-05:00

We're heading off to Vermont in about 2 hours-it's 6:30 AM here in Ossining, New York.

I'm ready for a nice quiet vacation. It's snowing in Jeffersonville, VT at Smuggler's Notch. We've packed our snowshoes and travel Scrabble, so we're ready for it all!

Plus a few mysteries and David Allen's three CD set for how to conduct a Weekly Review (shout out to Meggin, thanks!)

That should keep me busy and out of trouble.

Happy Thanksgiving, one and all. In spite of the global meltdown we have so much to be thankful for. I'm taking Brother David's book, Gratefulness The Heart of Prayer to remind me.

Outstanding in the Field

2008-09-20T15:18:00.007-04:00

So last Saturday night we attended an "Outstanding in the Field" dinner. It was FABULOUS! And all because we saw a piece about the artist, Jim Deneven on CBS Sunday Morning way back in January. Turns out that many of those who attended the fabulous feast at the Grieg Farm in Red Hook watched the exact same piece. I know because I asked lots of people how they found out about the dinner.

Here's a picture of Jim Deneven (above, left) and Norman Grieg (above, right) during a "tour" of the farm.

And here we all are drinking Hudson Valley champagne and eating Gigi Market "skizzas" under a tree on the farm. You can't see it but off to the right there's a table that served as a bar.

The evening was special-so special that I even ate chicken (for the first time in over 20 years!) from Northwind Farm in Tivoli New York. It was listed on the menu as "poussin" - I looked this up in Wikipedia and learned that most of us would call this a Cornish game hen. Who cares-I never remember chicken tasting like this! And the farmer, Richard Biezynski, told me what vegetarian means in Indian - "poor hunter!"

I laughed but I must say that hormone free, grass fed, organic chicken might be enough to make me eat chicken again.

And in the "six degrees of separation" category among the 120 people there were two who know a colleague of mine at Pace. We sat with Sioux and her husband Pieter and the four hours of eating flew by! This photo was taken late in the evening; the "kitchen" is set up in the background, and you can almost see the table setting. What you can't see, unfortunately, is the moon, which was rising behind us. What a great way to spend our 25th anniversary!

Family Emergencies

2008-09-13T08:51:00.005-04:00

In the immortal words of Gilda Radner, "It's always something" and boy was she right! Anne's mom was rushed to the hospital Sunday evening and on Monday we were sure we were going to have to decide whether surgery would be required (and would she survive the surgery?) or would we "wait and see" while the poor woman was in extreme pain.

After a long night of anti-biotics and an IV drip her massive infection was controlled, and by Wednesday she was asking for things again-a radio, Fixident, when can I go home?

You've got to say this for Ruth-she's a feisty lady!

And boy am I glad that this latest emergency ended so well. We're heading to the city to visit her at St. Luke's and we're hoping she'll be home by Tuesday.

Gilda was right-it is always something!

[Note: she was home by Monday and back in the hospital-this time the VA-on Tuesday, where she is as I write this on September 20.]

The Garden in August

2008-08-30T15:15:00.025-04:00

So here's our garden in August. The only reason that the tomatoes survived is because there were so many of them.

The topsy-turvy planter has had lots of flowers but they've all been male-what's up with that?

The beans have started to come back-who knows, we might actually get some. Everything that was high up was out of reach, which is why the topsy-turvy survived.

Notice the old windows around the garden- that was working to keep the woodchucks out - for a while!

One of my favorite focal points in the garden is the planter that we've named Guennivere-she looks gorgeous, as you can see from this picture, taken last week.

When we put the garden to bed I'll put up the battery operated electric fence. I'll have to put it around the garden, especially since we have the wooden fence along the back. This should prove very interesting!

The Garden in June and July

2008-08-30T15:01:00.006-04:00

The woodchuck family got into the garden so often that I'm surprised we have anything left. We lost three plantings of beans, two plantings of peas and who knows how many heads of cabbage and lettuce. It's a good thing that we're not trying to live off the land.

But our neighbors must have eliminated the woodchuck family because once I invested $194.00 in a McGregor Electric Fence the woodchucks disappeared-and I haven't put it up yet! So here's our garden story: this picture was taken on July 18-look at how great the peas were doing, climbing right up the poles. You can see the basil and the lettuce behind the peas. And on June 22 the beans were doing really well, as you can see in the second picture. When we got home
from vacation we found out that the day before we got home, the garden looked great. The woodchuck got in THAT MORNING and had a field day.

So we planted again!

How can it be August already?

2008-08-01T10:11:00.003-04:00

I'm writing this from my hotel room in Denver-tomorrow I fly home after a wonderful two week vacation. The main things on my mind:

How is our garden? Are the tomatoes ripe? Did the woodchuck get in?
How much work is waiting for me? I know I have back-to-back meetings on Wednesday, and Monday is already hectic. Monday: PLV, Tuesday:NYC, Wednesday: GC, Thursday:MAINE!!

And I sure wish someone could tell me what happened to June and July. After Aunt Mary's funeral I spent a week at the Faculty Resource Network Summer Enrichment Seminar and two weeks on Federal Court jury duty.

I started my "new job" officially on July 1 but I had been working at it a little before. So from the end of June until July 18 there were Dean's Council and Management Council meetings, plus Strategic Planning committee meetings, plus meetings with faculty and staff.

And we left for the Southwest on July 19, so that kind of explains what happened to those months, doesn't it?

Good to get away, good to be going home.

Rest In Peace, Mary Devine, 6/5/1925-6/6/2008

2008-06-07T14:45:00.005-04:00

My Aunt Mary died yesterday. This picture was taken at my cousin Jack's 50th birthday party two years ago-she's the one on the far left. The man on the far right is her younger brother, John-my cousin Jack's father. He's the last of the three Devine "children" - first my mother died of Alzheimer's in 1998 and now Mary died, of we think diverticulitis, the day after her 83rd birthday.

I will miss her terribly; she was my aunt, my godmother, my role model, and in many ways, my hero. She taught me about faith, hard work, independence, generosity and love. She was always there, always forgiving, and even though she could be bossy and domineering (as I've been told I can be, too!) she always had the best of everything in her heart. Anne made some calls today to let folks that she worked with know of her passing, and one of the women said that people at The Royal Globe (the insurance company where she worked for 45 years) found her intimidating because she was so smart. Smart she was, and funny, and quick and thorough. She didn't suffer fools gladly and she got the job done. Boy I sure hope I am like her - I'll need those qualities now.

Rest in peace, Aunt Mary. I only wish you had a more peaceful end but I am sure now that your suffering is over. I love you and I'll miss you.

Darwin's Garden

2008-06-07T14:41:00.003-04:00

We went to the New York Botanical Garden on Wednesday to see Darwin's Garden. What a wonderful exhibit! And here is a view of the garden that Charles Darwin saw from his window at his home in Kent, England. Not bad, right?

The Garden

2008-06-05T21:43:00.003-04:00

So this is what the peas look like now-this picture was taken on June 1. Pretty soon they will be climbing up the pea fence (we hope).

Our local ground hog had five babies-we think that our neighbors destroyed two of them because yesterday we only saw three. That's fine with us because the Mama ground hog got into the garden (again!) and ate two rudbekia and all of the daisies. Anne was not pleased.

I hung the terracotta "lady" planter-you can see it in the back of the center bed, which will be the cutting garden. Anne planted cosmos and marigolds in the center, and ivy and impatiens in the lady-the ivy will come down and look like hair (we hope!).

I fixed the fence and sprayed red pepper spray all around the perimeter of the garden. I hope that works because the beans, radishes and lettuces are coming up and I really don't want the ground hogs to get them!

Beans

2008-05-27T15:23:00.002-04:00

Last year we put the pea fence up after the peas really needed them. So this year we decided to put the poles up first-what a concept! Here they are, with Anne planting peas.

Tomatoes

2008-05-27T14:42:00.019-04:00

So we think we have nothing to worry about, and we set up the Earth Boxes with mulch covers. These boxes are great-wheeled, with a staking set that comes with its own netting. We decide that there is no problem in leaving the boxes out. Here are some photos of us putting the boxes together. Here's Anne calling the Earth Box folks for some advice.

Turns out we didn't need it-we got them up and working in no time, and Anne planted the tomato plants we bought at the Teatown Plant Sale.

And here's what happened. Something ate through the cover-and left the tomato plants alone! Netting and duct tape to the rescue! So far, so good. Since the boxes are on wheels, we can wheel them around the property to follow the sun. Let's hope this works and we don't wind up with a $64 tomato!

Strawberries

2008-05-23T17:48:00.008-04:00

So here's Anne trying to figure out how to plant the strawberries. Boy am I glad because they were living in the veggie drawer of our refrigerator before they got planted.

Here's an "after" shot-. Most of them look good. We'll just have to wait and see.

[Update: June 8-well, they don't look so good now. Either they are not getting enough sun or something is eating them, or both. We moved them into the fenced in garden yesterday, but we don't have much hope for them.]

Garden Photos

2008-05-18T17:35:00.011-04:00

Okay, these are from last week, but at least I have some photos! Here are the strawberries that Anne ordered from Gardener's Supply (maybe?). As soon as they look more like strawberries we'll have to cover them.

And here's what the fenced in garden looks like-look at those tulips! That's the only way we can have tulips. The three raised beds are waiting for our attention! Those bags of compost are

just waiting to be opened and tossed into the beds.

The lilacs and the azaleas are gorgeous! These photos don't do them justice.

Gardening

2008-05-09T11:13:00.002-04:00

Ah, the best laid plans! We were supposed to go to Teatown for their plant sale today, but the weather isn't very promising. [Note: we actually did go, in the rain, and got lots of wonderful plants-zucchini, a patio tomato, some cat mint.]

Anne got some strawberry plants in last weekend. Our strawberry planter broke (who even remembers how or when) and we decided to plant them in long narrow boxes. We now have enough strawberry plants to go into the strawberry business. But since strawberries are usually produced with pesticides, we don't eat anything but organic strawberries. It will be nice to grow our own.

We've ordered Earth Boxes for tomatoes. The plan was to buy tomato plants at Teatown and get them into the Earth boxes-we'll see. We want to try Earth boxes because we can move them around, as the sun moves; we'll have to cover them to keep critters away from them.

We have a topsy turvy planter that we're going to try to grow zucchini in-we like zucchini but the plants sprawl and take up the entire (small) garden.

I'll post some pictures soon, as soon as the sun comes out and I can take some!

Gardens, ours and others!

2008-05-05T11:32:00.002-04:00

Spring is finally here (I hope!) and we've been out doing garden work (finally!). Although it was raining on Saturday morning, we hurried over to Westchester Community College's Native Plant Center for the annual plant sale. Got wonderful things.

On Saturday I trimmed the bushes behind the fenced in garden, set up the bird feeders and hung the hummingbird feeder. Anne planted the area behind the garage and we put up the garden ornament that Vicki and Kristine gave us (pictures to follow!).

I've been enjoying reading the blogs of my friends Sarah and Steve (links on this blog). They have been inspiring and have helped me keep my focus.

Finally, here are some pictures from the Open Gardens on Saturday.

My battery ran out when we got to the Steinhardt garden but I have really nice pictures of Rocky Hills-look at all the forget-me-nots in the picture above. We now need tons of them for our garden!

And how about this tree house-makes me want one! This is from a garden in Chappaqua.

Quandries!

2008-04-16T13:33:00.001-04:00

So here it is, the day after tax day, my taxes are filed (as of Monday, hey, it's a day early) and all I have to figure out is how I'm going to pay the $200+ I owe the feds because the refund from the state always comes much later.

Aunt Mary seems to be doing okay (although I haven't heard from her so I should check), Anne's mom is, well, Anne's mom, and life at work is life at work.

I'm enjoying this spectacular spring day and I'll work out on the porch this afternoon, finishing the last of the papers I need to mark (although if they are sent electronically are they still papers? Hey, we still talk about records even though no one makes vinyl anymore!)

Holidays-Holy Days

2008-03-17T10:02:00.000-04:00

Holy Week-again! With Easter coming so early it feels like we just did this. I really like it when Easter and Passover are so far apart, and I really don't like it when Easter and Passover are so far apart.

I like it because then I can focus on each holiday separately-I don't have to "worry" about the first or second night seder falling on holy Thursday.

I don't like it because when the two "holy days" fall together I can really feel the connection between them.

Isn't it so human to never be satisfied!

Tired!

2008-03-11T13:16:00.000-04:00

Boy am I tired! Between turning the clocks ahead and working so hard I'm really beat. I don't remember "spring ahead" doing this to me before, but maybe that's because I don't remember anything anymore.

I had a very intense day in the city yesterday and that really wore me out. Nothing like the day I had last week, when a building collapsed and I had an adventure getting home, but still, catching the 9:11 and getting home around 10 PM makes for a long day. I know that there are folks who do this all the time, but I'm not one of them!

And now, after I do a few million things, I'll get to spend next week on house chores-it's my spring break. We're thinking of taking a road trip-I need to be in Denver from July 28 until August 1, so we might be "westward ho!"

Old Age and me

2008-02-26T11:07:00.000-05:00

I spent yesterday at Winthrop Hospital with Aunt Mary. She had a port put in for her chemotherapy (which started at 8:30 this morning) and I read Love in the Time of Cholera for my book group. I left the house at 9:45, drove the 40 miles or so to pick her up, spent the day mostly reading, eating and waiting, then drove her home. We had dinner together and then I drove to my book group meeting.

It's hard not to worry about who'll take care of me when I'm 82. Gini keeps saying don't look at Joe or Michael, and I understand-everyone has their own lives.

I guess I have two choices-stay really, really healthy or find the lesbian old age home (soon!) so that I'll have a community of friends to care for me.

I never thought I'd be 60, never thought my mother would die, or my dad would get old, or my sister would become a grandmother. It's not that I thought these things wouldn't happen, it's more like I never thought about them.

As my friend Nancy Amy says, old age isn't for sissies, so I guess I'd better "toughen up!'

Our 60/60 Party

2008-01-07T11:08:00.000-05:00

Well here's what 60 looks like (at least the way I'm doing 60):
I'm not really 60 until the 25th, but the party was Saturday night, and a good time was had by all (at least I hope so-I had a blast!)

Happy New Year

2008-01-02T20:20:00.000-05:00

So here it is, 2008. How did that happen?

We sat down and worked out a set of, well not exactly New Year's Resolutions, but things that we want to do in 2008. Like spend more time together, take more vacations, stuff like that.

But the highlight of the new year (so far!) is the new outfit I bought today at Chico's for our 60/60 party (which - I can hardly believe - is this Saturday!).

Pictures to follow (for sure!).

I wish us all peace, health and happiness in 2008.

The End of the Semester Blues

2007-12-19T19:15:00.000-05:00

Here it is, December 19th. Two final projects down, one final exam to go. And all I want to do is sit here and "play" with my beautiful new 17" iMac-the resolution is astounding, it's lightening fast, and it makes my 6 year old iMac look like an antique-although that one is not being retired, exactly. It's going downstairs in the home office to become the "accounting" machine for the house.

Can it really be November?

2007-11-08T15:45:00.003-05:00

Where has this last month gone? Here it is, November 9, and I'm still lost in October, which was a horrendous month. And now Anne has to have knee surgery tomorrow, just to add to the fun.

The good news is that our bathroom looks great-Kevin Doyle of O. Doyle Construction has done a fabulous job of taking our 1965 bathroom with its awful green tiles and making it into a very 21st century spa-like oasis. Way to go Kevin!

Pictures to follow! [Pictures added on May 18, 2008.]

Jerry Selman, September 12, 1918-October 14, 2007

2007-10-18T07:44:00.000-04:00

What can anyone say? Jerome Herbert Norman Selman was a giant of a man, in every way. Lovable, annoying, easy going, short tempered. He was a man of contradictions (aren't we all?). The world is a better place because he lived and I will miss him.
His funeral was wonderful (he would have been proud) and his children eulogized him beautifully. His daughters in law (Tillie and me) were proud to be his pall bearers.
This picture of Ruth, Matt, Jerry and Anne was taken two years ago when we celebrated Ruth and Jerry's 60th wedding anniversary. I'll remember him like this-before his leg was amputated, before he spent 227 out of the last 365 days at the VA Medical Center, before he was on the ventilator.
Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Dylan Thomas

"It's always something" Gilda Radner

2007-10-05T08:14:00.000-04:00

We've been struggling for the last two years with Anne's father's health-he's been in and out of the VA Hospital (more in than out). We celebrated his 89th birthday during Rosh Hashanah. He didn't look well, but he was home, and that was a blessing.

Tuesday he had two incidents of cardiac arrest. We spent Tuesday and most of Wednesday at the hospital. Anne's going in today, and we're both going in on Sunday.

So much of our conversation has revolved around the big issues (please, please don't ever let me be on a ventilator) and the mundane (where will we sit shiva? how many people will we feed after the funeral?)

Jerry will probably die this week at the age of 89. The weird thing about Jerry is that many years ago, a palmist reading his palm told him he'd live to be 89-which is also the age at which his mother, Nanny, died. We had a big party for her 89th and that was it!

Our friend Donna died in May at the age of 53. You never really know, do you?

L'Shana Tovah

2007-09-13T10:07:00.000-04:00

May we all have a sweet (and peaceful!) year. My friend Paul is in Niger, here I am in Ossining, Nancy and Amy are in San Francisco (happy birthday, Nancy-I know it was Tuesday, how could any of us forget?). So to friends near and far, may you be inscribed in the book of life.
Services last night in Town Hall were wonderful-Rabbi Cohen always knows just what to say and Rabbi Kleinbaum is a strong spiritual leader. Attending services is always nurturing.
Anne and I went to the New Castle ground breaking for the September 11th Memorial. This 9/11 was one of the hardest for me-someone in church on Sunday asked that we pray for the families of the victims and I felt the tears start. I couldn't watch any of the TV coverage and at odd times during the day when I closed my eyes, even just to blink, I saw the first building come down on the inside of my eyelids. Very tough. It seems like the further away the day is, the more I get in touch with the horror of it all.
But somehow the ceremony at the groundbreaking was very soothing, comforting even. I almost heard Greg Reda chuckle, from somewhere up in heaven (at least that's what I like to think-it gives me some comfort).
So may we all be inscribed in the book of life, and may we all have a sweet year. Happy 5768! L'shana tovah

Back to School

2007-08-31T20:00:00.000-04:00

Good heavens, where did the summer go? A week in P'town, nine days in Nicaragua, six days in Maine with a little work (Pforzheimer, DPS interviews, Faculty Council planning) in between (and I thought professors had the summers off, silly me!) and poof! the summer's gone.
We did get to spend an overnight with my sister and her husband in Pennsylvania earlier this week, which was nice.
And now, as we used to say when Anne worked, life as we know it comes to an end, and it's back to work. Beginning Sunday, with the Pace Setters event.
Good thing I love what I do!

A week in Maine

2007-08-13T10:41:00.000-04:00

A week in Maine is just what the doctor ordered! We spent a few days with Betty at her lovely home on Barter's Island (thanks again, Betty) and then two magical nights on Monhegan Island. I'd love to go back and spend a week, and maybe we will. The ride home from Freeport (we just had to visit our friends at LL Bean) was awful-rain and fog most of the way, plus some traffic. A usually long (5-6 hour) trip became a really long trip-nearly 10 hours.
But now normal life begins-I need to get ready for my classes, and for new faculty orientation, and I need to get Adam's paper edited and my own paper ready for the POD conference. Plus a few million other little chores (like calling about our leaking granite top and figuring out how to pay all the bills!).
No wonder I like being on vacation better!
PS (added on October 8) Here's a photo of Anne and me at Betty's, showing off the dinner we've just made. Thanks, Betty!

Some final thoughts about my Nicaragua trip

2007-07-18T13:03:00.000-04:00

Now that I'm sleeping in my own bed, not doing "bug checks" at night (Dorritt was especially concerned about scorpions, and we did kill one) and showering in a real shower, I can remember the beauty of the country-here's a photo of a bandera flower, taken at the Hotel Raizon in Maysaya, Nicaragua, where we spent our first and last two nights.

What a beautiful, complex and infuriatingly "messed up" world we live in, where folks can work really really hard and still have nothing, where a beautiful country can house so many people in poverty (Nicaragua is the second poorest country in the Western Hemisphere, after Haiti). We met a woman from Ecuador who now lives in Chicago and is an environmental engineer for Texaco. She was amazed and touched that Americans would come to Nicaragua to help build houses. Kind of restores your faith in all of us, doesn't it?

Here's a "parting shot" taken at the airport in Managua. Emily, Alexa, Lauren and Becky, looking very happy to be on the way home! I don't yet know how, but I know that this trip has changed me (and all of us who went on it). It sounds silly and trite but I definitely received more than I gave (I'm not a very good house builder) and came home with a much healthier perspective on what it means to be happy and successful. Now if I can just figure out what that means in my daily life, I'll be all set!

More about Nicaragua

2007-07-18T11:42:00.000-04:00

Now that we've been home for ten days I've had more time to think about the trip, about the folks I met, and what this all has meant. It sure makes me realize that for some people in the world "leisure time" is only a dream. Tuesday night of the week we spent in Nicaragua some people from Guanacastillo visited with us to share stories. These are people whose days begin at 5 or 6 AM and end around 7 PM-when we asked what they did when they weren't working, the women talked about cooking and cleaning and the men seemed to not understand. They were very interested in knowing what the retired folks did (Anne and Ruth Deemer are retired).

We did get to have some fun with our new friends. The families threw a big party at the dedication of the houses and the whole community came-here you see Tim, our Bridges coordinator, talking with Lidio, the father of the family for whom we built our house. The women, Dona Marta, Thelma and Maria Ofelia, expressed their gratitude. The party was really for the children, with pinatas, candy and music, and Ritz crackers and canned sodas for the gringos. The women and children danced with us, the men watched. Here you can see everyone getting ready and Anne taking pictures. The folding chairs in the background were for us, the guests of honor.

The finished product

2007-07-12T15:04:00.000-04:00

There's more to tell and I'll blog some more later, but here's our finished house, all but the roof. Here's our team, along with the masons and the family (and a few extra kids who we picked up along the way!)

Getting to the work site

2007-07-12T15:01:00.000-04:00

Now this was a trick-we rode in the back of a pick up truck. Sometimes we rode inside. Talk about dusty! Here's Emily, Ruth and Dorrit standing up in the truck bed.

Day to day living

2007-07-12T14:54:00.000-04:00

So here we were in Nicaragua, and where did we sleep? The twelve of us women slept in a church, while the two guys (Andrew and Brian) slept in a school. Tim, Erik and Parisa took turns staying with us, so sometimes there were more than two guys. This picture shows our mosquito netting and our cots. The green bag in front is Anne's, and the blue one next to hers is mine. Three women from Papayal, where we were staying, cooked for us. Dona Santos in the pink shirt cooked for us, along with the woman standing next to her.

Sightseeing

2007-07-12T09:21:00.000-04:00

We didn't work all of the time. When we weren't working we were eating, sleeping, resting or sightseeing. Wednesday after we finished work we went into Managua-here we are having dinner in a restaurant. The next picture shows you how we usually had dinner-outdoors. We swam at Lake Apoyo on Saturday (the day we arrived). Lake Apoyo is a beautiful crater lake. You can see it in the background-this picture doesn't do it justice. Here are all of us looking fresh, in spite of the trip and the fact that we were up at 2 AM to get to the church parking lot by 2:50AM to be at the airport at 4 AM for our 6 AM flight to Miami-what did we do that we deserved the "early" flight?

Nicaragua Day Three

2007-07-12T09:13:00.000-04:00

Well by day three some of us had already had Somoza's revenge-Anne was sick and not able to work. Did I mention that it was so hot that I sweat even in the shade? Here you can see Lauren, Ruth, Emily, Julia and Dorrit drinking water. Anne and I made our team of seven. We had lots of help, as we were working along side a team of Nicaraguan masons, and half the village must have turned out to lend a hand. We had to get the wall up half way, then pour the cement. It needed to dry from Wednesday at noon until Thursday morning. In this picture you can see the form for the concrete.

Nicaragua Day Two

2007-07-12T08:08:00.001-04:00

After we dug holes for the foundation we buried the reinforced steel and mixed concrete. All of our work was done by hand. Here's Anne getting ready to mix cement. Fernando is behind her in the red shirt-the whole family (including two year old Christofer!) worked with us.

Nicaragua Day One

2007-07-12T07:58:00.000-04:00

How do I describe a week in Nicaragua in a few words? I guess I don't. Bridges to Community does it best-look at their website www.bridgestocommunity.org and their video. Fourteen of us from First Presbyterian Church of Yorktown went to Guanacastillo with Bridges and we built two houses in one week. We split into two groups of seven. I'll try to capture my experience in a few pictures-here's the "before" on day one. We dug holes for the foundation-I have never worked so hard in my life! The house will be built on the right. The sand and rocks for mixing the cement are in two huge piles in the middle of the picture. The cinder blocks on the left will make up the house-a one room 12' by 16' house that Lidio, Maria Ofelia and their children, two year old Christofer Alexander and five year old Isiana Yoelka, will live in. Eleven year old Fernando, Lidio's son with another woman, also lives with them.

Nicaragua, Here we come!

2007-06-15T14:08:00.000-04:00

Well we're back from P'town and off to Nicaragua...if I can just get everything done between now and June 30. Ran the TPW June 4 through 7, caught my breath, worked on the leadership retreat this week, now it's Clearwater on Saturday and Sunday.
A few more meetings (leadership retreat, webinar, middle states) plus a few visits (Leonora in Brooklyn, Ruth and Jerry in New York) and then I can really focus on Nicaragua.
We'll be working in Guanacastillo, north of Masaya. I'm really excited. Now if I can just find boots that fit me....

On the Way to Provincetown

2007-05-22T21:45:00.000-04:00

We leave for Provincetown on Friday, around 7AM. I have a ton of things to do before then; work things, personal things, all kinds of things. By the time we get to P'town I'll really need my vacation.

Faculty Institute

2007-05-16T22:00:00.000-04:00

Well this year's faculty institute is over and I'm exhausted. It was very successful but I wish more folks had attended. Bob Fuller was awesome -his website is worth visiting at http://breakingranks.net . He gave a great talk on rankism and the dignitarian university. His comments were timely given our new situation.

Nicaragua, Here I Come!

2007-04-23T10:55:00.000-04:00

Time is getting short, countdown to Nicaragua. We're leaving on June 29, coming back July 5. I'm going with Bridges to Community (http://www.bridgestocommunity.org) and a group from my church, First Presbyterian Church of Yorktown (http://www.fpcy.org). We'll be building houses for folks as well as touring.
Time to get more shots!

Life in the country

2007-04-16T18:57:00.000-04:00

Five years ago we moved from Park Slope Brooklyn to Ossining New York, and today we nearly got washed down the river-the "seasonal stream" in our back yard is nearly a lake.
Oh well, I guess that's life in the country.