I'm Just Visiting This Planet

What can anyone say? Jerome Herbert Norman Selman was a giant of a man, in every way. Lovable, annoying, easy going, short tempered. He was a man of contradictions (aren't we all?). The world is a better place because he lived and I will miss him. His funeral was wonderful (he would have been proud) and his children eulogized him beautifully. His daughters in law (Tillie and me) were proud to be his pall bearers. This picture of Ruth, Matt, Jerry and Anne was taken two years ago when we celebrated Ruth and Jerry's 60th wedding anniversary. I'll remember him like this-before his leg was amputated, before he spent 227 out of the last 365 days at the VA Medical Center, before he was on the ventilator. Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age should burn and rave at close of day; Rage, rage against the dying of the light. Dylan Thomas

We've been struggling for the last two years with Anne's father's health-he's been in and out of the VA Hospital (more in than out). We celebrated his 89th birthday during Rosh Hashanah. He didn't look well, but he was home, and that was a blessing. Tuesday he had two incidents of cardiac arrest. We spent Tuesday and most of Wednesday at the hospital. Anne's going in today, and we're both going in on Sunday. So much of our conversation has revolved around the big issues (please, please don't ever let me be on a ventilator) and the mundane (where will we sit shiva? how many people will we feed after the funeral?) Jerry will probably die this week at the age of 89. The weird thing about Jerry is that many years ago, a palmist reading his palm told him he'd live to be 89-which is also the age at which his mother, Nanny, died. We had a big party for her 89th and that was it! Our friend Donna died in May at the age of 53. You never really know, do...

May we all have a sweet (and peaceful!) year. My friend Paul is in Niger, here I am in Ossining, Nancy and Amy are in San Francisco (happy birthday, Nancy-I know it was Tuesday, how could any of us forget?). So to friends near and far, may you be inscribed in the book of life. Services last night in Town Hall were wonderful-Rabbi Cohen always knows just what to say and Rabbi Kleinbaum is a strong spiritual leader. Attending services is always nurturing. Anne and I went to the New Castle ground breaking for the September 11th Memorial. This 9/11 was one of the hardest for me-someone in church on Sunday asked that we pray for the families of the victims and I felt the tears start. I couldn't watch any of the TV coverage and at odd times during the day when I closed my eyes, even just to blink, I saw the first building come down on the inside of my eyelids. Very tough. It seems like the further away the day is, the more I get in touch with the horror of it all. But somehow the...

Good heavens, where did the summer go? A week in P'town, nine days in Nicaragua, six days in Maine with a little work (Pforzheimer, DPS interviews, Faculty Council planning) in between (and I thought professors had the summers off, silly me!) and poof! the summer's gone. We did get to spend an overnight with my sister and her husband in Pennsylvania earlier this week, which was nice. And now, as we used to say when Anne worked, life as we know it comes to an end, and it's back to work. Beginning Sunday, with the Pace Setters event. Good thing I love what I do!

A week in Maine is just what the doctor ordered! We spent a few days with Betty at her lovely home on Barter's Island (thanks again, Betty) and then two magical nights on Monhegan Island. I'd love to go back and spend a week, and maybe we will. The ride home from Freeport (we just had to visit our friends at LL Bean) was awful-rain and fog most of the way, plus some traffic. A usually long (5-6 hour) trip became a really long trip-nearly 10 hours. But now normal life begins-I need to get ready for my classes, and for new faculty orientation, and I need to get Adam's paper edited and my own paper ready for the POD conference. Plus a few million other little chores (like calling about our leaking granite top and figuring out how to pay all the bills!). No wonder I like being on vacation better! PS ( added on October 8 ) Here's a photo of Anne and me at Betty's, showing off the dinner we've just made. Thanks, Betty!

Now that I'm sleeping in my own bed, not doing "bug checks" at night (Dorritt was especially concerned about scorpions, and we did kill one) and showering in a real shower, I can remember the beauty of the country-here's a photo of a bandera flower, taken at the Hotel Raizon in Maysaya, Nicaragua, where we spent our first and last two nights. What a beautiful, complex and infuriatingly "messed up" world we live in, where folks can work really really hard and still have nothing, where a beautiful country can house so many people in poverty (Nicaragua is the second poorest country in the Western Hemisphere, after Haiti). We met a woman from Ecuador who now lives in Chicago and is an environmental engineer for Texaco. She was amazed and touched that Americans would come to Nicaragua to help build houses. Kind of restores your faith in all of us, doesn't it? Here's a "parting shot" taken at the airport in Managua. Emily, Alexa, Lauren and B...

Now that we've been home for ten days I've had more time to think about the trip, about the folks I met, and what this all has meant. It sure makes me realize that for some people in the world "leisure time" is only a dream. Tuesday night of the week we spent in Nicaragua some people from Guanacastillo visited with us to share stories. These are people whose days begin at 5 or 6 AM and end around 7 PM-when we asked what they did when they weren't working, the women talked about cooking and cleaning and the men seemed to not understand. They were very interested in knowing what the retired folks did (Anne and Ruth Deemer are retired). We did get to have some fun with our new friends. The families threw a big party at the dedication of the houses and the whole community came-here you see Tim, our Bridges coordinator, talking with Lidio, the father of the family for whom we built our house. The women, Dona Marta, Thelma and Maria Ofelia, expressed their gratit...